Most of our friends are laughing it up at the ICES convention this weekend, but alas, we are stuck here in sunny California. It's a hard life. However, before I can head out to enjoy my beloved home state, I am here in front of the trusty Apple iBook to deliver the gospel according to Silly Cake News!
While I don't believe we'll be lining up in the unemployment lines cursing the automation of cake decorating anytime soon, I for one lament the use of robots in the culinary arts! I always thought cake would be the one part of our humanity they could never rob from us those soon to be our dark overlord jerks! I might be wrong. Enter "Bakebot," a project at MIT where students have taught/programmed a robot to bake a batch of cookies from scratch. Because you know, that robot that just slices up the Toll House tube is so last year! Click through the link for video of the bot in action, it's fun to watch but I do plan on blowing up the Bakebot to spare parts in a surgical strike this weekend. Wait, it also fetches beer from the fridge? Hmmm.... maybe we'll come to an uneasy alliance afterall Bakebot.
Oh thank you crazy woman from Utah! I can always count on some whacko to use their wedding cake topper in an assault charge. It makes sense really. Every time I see one of those precious moments toppers, I desperately want to smash it against a wall! Those big eyes are creepier than Cakebot whipping up snickerdoodles!! But this woman literally tossed her topper at her husband and then picked it up and launched it off their balcony to the ground below. Any guesses on what he did to incite cake rage? No really, any guesses 'cause the article doesn't say. I'm going with forgot to buy milk?
Do you guys remember when we talked about Lazy Cakes in a previous Silly Cake News? They are the relaxation cupcake that is a thinly veiled attempt to make you think you're eating a pot brownie. Their tagline is even "Relaxation Baked In," with the word "baked" highlighted in a different color. Subtle. The thing is though, it's not pot, it's actually filled with melatonin, a chemical your body produces naturally and that makes you sleepy. Users of the Lazy Cake have claimed bouts of sleep lasting upwards of 10 or 12 hours! Well, as it was to inevitably turn out, the FDA has a wee bit of a problem with the amount of melatonin inside the brownies. Technically they've only been warned but part of that warning was "we can seize your product off of shelves at any time." I'd like to see them shut down Bakebot!! The robot apocalypse starts with one melatonin laced brownie!!
On a final note, I've talked about the video game Portal on here before and their famous in-game graffiti, "the cake is a lie." Jinx.com has a shirt with that theme and now they have a sticker! For a modest $2.49 per sticker, you can cover anything you wish with the empty promise of cake. Mixers, tool boxes, delivery vehicles, clip boards, that hole in your kitchen wall from when you couldn't get your royal icing to come out right... the possibilities are endless!!
Alright, get back to baking cakers! I'll be back next week with more time wasting glimpses into the world of cake. And don't forget to follow us on Facebook and our new-ish Tumblr page!
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